How to Find The Black Women in a Town Where You Feel Like The Only Chocolate Drop

When you live in a predominantly white town, spending time with other black women feels like a breath of fresh air. There’s something so energizing about laughing, sharing, and exhaling with other black women, especially when you spend most of your days being “the only one” in your environment.

The only black woman at your company. The only black woman in your class. The only black woman at “fill in the black” space. I see you, sis. And I know it can get lonely.

Black sisterhood helps us to live our best lives and and celebrate ourselves in the midst of environments that don’t always recognize us. But, it’s not always easy to find other black women in a town where you feel like you’re the only chocolate drop. In cities like this, seeing another black person on the street can have you cheesin’ ear to ear and wanting to scream “Wakanda Forever” out of excitement.

While it’s not always easy feeling like the “only one”, the truth is, you’re generally not the only one. It’s likely there are other black women just like you, yearning to connect.

After nearly six years of living in Arizona, which has a black population of less than 6%, I’ve had to learn a thing or two about cultivating a community of black women.

Here’s a look at 3 things you can do to befriend black women in your town.

Acknowledge Your Melanin Sisters When You See Them

This may seem simple, but it’s so important. When you see a fellow sista in your predominantly white environment, acknowledge her. Smile, compliment her, nod, or wave. There’s no need to be shy! You already know she spotted you from a mile away. Acknowledging her and being friendly shows that you’re open to connecting and to conversation. It’s amazing how many friendships have started from a simple, “I love your hair! Where do you get it done?”

Visit a predominantly black church congregation

The first time I walked into a predominantly black Baptist church in Phoenix, I cried. I cried because it felt so good to be amongst people who looked like me. I saw young black folk, old black folk, black couples, and black babies. I saw Black people living, existing and thriving. The sight was incredibly therapeutic for me. You’re bound to see some other young black women at church, even in a predominantly white city. Trust me. Don’t be afraid to get involved or sit next to other black women who may have come by themselves.  

Try a Friend Dating App

Dating apps are a great way to meet people you may not otherwise meet. Who says they have to be strictly for dating? Apps like Bumble BFF can be great ways for women to meet one another. Be open to all kinds of friendships! But, if you swipe past a fellow chocolate sista on there, be sure to swipe right! (or left, or whichever way says heyyyyyy girllllll).

Shine on sisters, and secure those meaningful melanin bonds!

Where do you live? Have you found it difficult to find other black women in your city? We want to hear your story. Comment below and let us know.

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